Maura Goes to the Circus

Maura had a big adventure without me last Saturday. She went to see the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey Circus at the TD Garden with her Aunt Andrea and her cousins. She came home with a big red plastic clown nose and a smile on her face. By her breathless account she had a wonderful time. She went on about the pirate acrobats building human towers by flipping people into the air with a seesaw, the animal act in which an elephant picked up a dog and put him gently down in the ring and the seven motorcyclists riding inside the spherical steel cage. I wish I could have been there to see the smile on her face and the wonder in her eyes, not to mention the “greatest show on earth.”

As Maura gets older I know I’m going to miss more of her special times. She’ll have more opportunities to do fun things without her father and she won’t always want me around even if I can be there. That’s the way things should be. As children grow up they are supposed to develop their own identities and separate from their parents. They grow, they learn, they develop. It’s a parent’s job to help them when they need help and get out of their way when they don’t.

Maura is doing a good job of becoming herself. I’m happy and proud when I see her succeeding without help from me or her mother and I’m glad she doesn’t need us all the time. I’m especially glad she doesn’t need our help to have fun. Maura’s growing independence tells me that her mother and I are doing our job as parents. I’m also happy that Maura does still need us, and not just to feed her, cloth her and get her to school. She still needs our approval, our advice and our company. She still wants to be read to and tucked in at night. She still needs to be reminded of her responsibilities and provided with consequences when she fails to fulfill them despite the reminders. She still enjoys having adventures with her father.

I enjoy having adventures with Maura, too. She is good company. She is intelligent, curious and good natured. I’m happy to spend time with her. So, to Maura I say, “I like the circus, too. Let’s go together sometime.”

Bogs and Beaches

Thanks to a teacher in-service day on Friday followed by Columbus Day weekend, Maura had four days off from school. We had considered going camping and the weather would have been perfect for it but Saturday was Yom Kippur, which meant that Jennifer and Maura were in services. On top of that Jennifer thought she might need to work Sunday or Monday so we decided not to plan a camping trip after all. We did get the chance to get out for a few nature hikes.

On Friday afternoon I took Maura to Ponkapoag Bog in the Blue Hills Reservation. We walked the boardwalk that crosses the bog to the edge of the open water of Ponkapoag Pond. We searched for signs of southern bog lemmings but didn’t see anything that we could be certain of. I’d hoped to find green droppings or piles of clipped sedges that indicate their presence. All we saw were narrow paths through the vegetation in the open parts of the bog that could be lemming runs. While we saw no clear signs of lemmings we did enjoy the walk and noted the succession of environments as we moved away from solid ground from thick woods dominated by maples and cedars through open meadows to a final verge of stunted cedars on the edge of the open water. We saw some beautiful red dragonflies and few birds flitting through the brush that I couldn’t see well enough to identify  but nothing else was moving in the bog. The weather was perfect but I suspect most of the wildlife had already moved on for the season.

On Sunday we made a family expedition to Plum Island, in Newbury, Massachusetts, on the shore north of Boston. The weather was unseasonably warm for October. The temperature reached the low 80s Fahrenheit, ideal weather for a day on the shore. There was heavy traffic on Interstate 95 around Boston so getting to Plum Island was a chore but we enjoyed our visit once we arrived. A wrong turn took us to the inhabited part of the island where we discovered that Plum Island Light was open for visitors. We ate our picnic lunch on the grounds of the lighthouse and then took the opportunity to climb to the top, stopping along the way to chat with the friendly Friends of Plum Island Light who staff it when it is open. The view from the top was spectacular and we learned how lighthouses work.

After the lighthouse side trip we finally found our destination on Plum Island, the Parker River National Wildlife Refuge, which occupies the undeveloped part of the island except for the beach at the southern end which is a state park. We parked at the Hellcat Trail lot and walked both loops of the Hellcat Interpretive Trail where we learned about the National Wildlife Refuge and the barrier island environment of Plum Island. Both loops of the trail are on boardwalks to protect the environment and allow visitors to cross wetlands dry shod. A pamphlet available at the trailhead describes the trails and gives information on the wildlife and ecology. One loop winds through a man-made freshwater marsh which was constructed in the 1950s to improve habitat for migrating birds. We saw an egret, swans, and ducks in the open water and learned about invasive species in wetlands, including the common reed which still fills much of the marsh. On slightly dryer ground the trail wound past bayberry and through stands of red maple.

The other branch of the Hellcat trail climbed the large stabilized secondary dunes that make up the backbone of the barrier island. At the top an observation area looks out on the smaller, less stable primary dunes closer to the beach, with their spreading mats of false heather and beach grass holding them in place. Along the way the interpretive guide described the ecology of the island and the plants that survive in the harsh environment of salt-spray and shifting sand. It also discussed the impact of development on barrier islands and their important role in protecting the saltmarshes and the mainland behind them from the impact of storms.

The one environment on Plum Island we didn’t visit was the actual beach. It took too long for us to get there and we didn’t have the time for one more walk down to the water on the ocean side. Perhaps next year we’ll get to visit the beach there or make a trip to the Cape Cod National Seashore for a trip to a wild beach.

Maura Taken Sick

Maura is generally a healthy child. Jennifer and I see that she eats her vegetables, gets adequate sleep and isn’t a couch potato. She gets the occasional cold and suffers from hay fever in the spring but she has not often been seriously ill. Last week she was.

On Monday she complained of having a cold in the morning. I took her to school anyway. She wasn’t complaining of anything that should keep her home. An hour later, though, I got a call from the school nurse to let me know she was running a fever of 102°F and I should come pick her up, which I did, right away. Children’s ibuprofen brought her fever down but it didn’t go away and she developed a cough. Since she wasn’t improving we called her doctor on Tuesday evening and on Wednesday morning he saw her and diagnosed pneumonia.

In times gone by this would have been a dangerous illness and everyone we told of it reacted as if Maura was on death’s door. Thanks to modern medicine, though, she was rapidly on the mend. A course of antibiotics treated the infection very effectively. On Thursday her fever was much reduced. On Friday it was gone entirely, and she was able to go to Rosh Hashanah services with her mother.

The most traumatic part of the whole week for Maura and for me was convincing Maura to take her medicine. She hates liquid medicine and she is very stubborn when she’s sick. Even when she knows it will make her feel better she won’t take the medicine if she doesn’t like the flavor. Since almost every children’s medicine is flavored either with grape or cherry, the two artificial flavors that Maura hates the most, she usually refuses, leaving Maura still sick and me frustrated. This time we finally hit on a solution. After it had been mixed into a banana-chocolate smoothie Maura claimed not to taste the medicine and happily drank it all down. I’m looking forward to Maura growing up just a bit more. She might not grow out of her aversion to liquid medicine but after a few more years of growth it won’t matter. She’ll be large enough to take an adult dose and she has no trouble swallowing pills.

Maura is back in school now after having been out all of last week. She seems not to have missed a beat. She is rapidly catching up with her missed school work and moving on to new material. While the extra week off hasn’t seemed to hurt her academically I hope she isn’t sick often this year. No parent likes to see his child sick but Maura being home unexpectedly causes other problems for me. Except for her aversion to liquid medicine Maura is a very good patient and not at all demanding but it’s much harder to get work done when she’s home.

Life is Good

Last Sunday Jennifer and I took Maura to the Life if Good Festival at Prowse Farm in Canton, Massachusetts. We scored free tickets courtesy of our friend Julie Tittler, who attends Trinity Episcopal Church which abuts the farm and lent its parking lot for VIP parking, receiving a block of tickets in exchange, a few of which Julie passed on to us. Thank you, Julie.

Maura had a great time at the festival and I would think about going again even if I had to pay to get in as long as I could afford the $65 ticket price. It's not a bad deal for a whole day of music and fun and the money goes to charity. The Festival is a fundraising event that benefits the Life is good Playmakers, an organization dedicated to helping children affected by disasters recover though play.

The festival itself is dedicated to play, both for children and adults. It features live music on three stages and many games, shows and activities for all ages. Vendors sold a variety of crafts, souvenirs, food and beverages. Maura had fun with the batting cage and the climbing wall, though there was a fair crowd and the lines were long. She also enjoyed seeing friends who were at the concert and eating free samples of yogurt.

Anyone attending the festival as concert event might want to arrive early and find a place near the stage. We got there long after things got started and it was impossible to get close enough to the stage to see the show, though hearing the music was not hard at all. Music could easily be heard anywhere on the festival grounds. I wasn’t familiar with any of the performers I heard playing the festival except for the Imagination Movers who played the children's stage. I listened to most of their set while Maura was waiting in line to climb the rock wall. Their Disney Chanel TV show is pitched to an audience of young children but their live show was clearly intended to appeal to parents and older children as well as tots. They played with a lot of energy and had a great rapport with both children and adults in their audience.

Eggplant and Bananas

I bribed Maura to eat her vegetables last night. I offered to make her dessert if she ate her eggplant and tomatoes. Mara detests eggplant and it’s a struggle to get her to eat anything that contains it. I can’t say I blame her. Eggplant isn’t my favorite vegetable either.

The eggplants were little Brazilian ones, about the size of jalapeno peppers with green and yellow stripes. I sliced them crossways, like jalapenos for nachos. Then I pan fried them with onion, garlic, and sweet red peppers. After they had cooked down I added a diced tomato. A little salt and cumin seed completed the dish. I thought it turned out fairly well. The sugar in the onions caramelized. Everything was sweet and the flavors blended together.

With only a little urging Maura ate all of her portion as required and let on that she found the dish less objectionable than she usually finds eggplant. She didn’t whine at all for which I am grateful. If I get any more of the Brazilian eggplants from the CSA I’ll cook them the same way.

When Maura had cleaned her plate I kept my promise. I made her caramelized bananas. I cooked a sliced banana in butter and brown sugar with a healthy shake of cinnamon on top until everything was sticky and gooey. While I cooked I explained what I was doing so she could do it for herself sometime. When they were done I divided the bananas between two plates and sat down to enjoy dessert with my daughter.

I don’t generally believe in bribing Maura to do the things she should do, like eating her vegetables. Special rewards should be received for special actions not ordinary ones. Paying children for ordinary good behavior makes them into little mercenaries who expect larger and larger rewards for doing less and less. Still, I’m glad I made my daughter dessert. Sharing it with her was a small moment that made both of us happy. We’ll remember and look back on it in years to come.

Busy Maura (Busy Dad)

Now that Maura is back in school all of her other activities are starting too. Ice skating, soccer and Hebrew school have all started up right along with Maura’s school year. Now the carefree hours Maura spent reading and watching TV during the summer are taken up with practices, lessons and organized games, not to mention homework and chores. Maura is glad to be back at all of her regular activities. She loves ice skating and she enjoys soccer and even her Hebrew school classes. She’s a little less happy about doing her homework and her chores. With a little reminding she does her homework without many complaints but it often seems that she does everything she can to put off her chores until there isn’t enough time for her to get them done. I usually have to remind her several times to empty the dishwasher and clean out our cats’ litter boxes. I’m glad to know I have a normal child. I don’t much care for doing chores either and cleaning the litter boxes was definitely not a favorite of mine when I did it before Maura was old enough to take over.

When Maura is busy I’m busy too. I step into the role of Maura's chauffeur. It is a role I don’t enjoy. Maura’s activities are far flung and often at inconvenient times. I hate fighting traffic and I worry about the cost of gas. I do what I need to so that Maura can get the opportunities she needs to become a well-rounded person. At least I don’t have to worry about being late for work. I do find I enjoy the time while Maura is busy. It can be fun watching Maura have fun but I often use the time to work. I can bring my laptop computer almost anywhere and my notebook and a pen anywhere at all.

My antipathy to driving is one reason why Jennifer and I have chosen Maura’s after school activities but it is hardly the most important one. We have chosen to limit Maura to three days of after school activities not because I get tired of driving her around (which I do) but because we believe that unstructured time is valuable. Maura needs and deserves an occasional afternoon off so that, once she has finished her homework and chores, she can spend time playing with her friends, reading a book, or watching TV. I have no doubt she is happier for having some free time.

Back to School, Back to Work

Maura, Jennifer and I had a very pleasant Labor Day Weekend to finish off our summer. Jennifer and I did some work around the house and Maura spent hours playing outside with her friends in the neighborhood. We went to the Tolman MDA Telethon Party at Congregation Sha’aray Shalom in Hingham. We had a good time enjoying the company of friends and helped to raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Maura jumped in a bouncy house while the adults listened to live music. There may be an outing to hear Bon Jovi tribute band Living on a Bad Name sometime in our future, but we probably will leave Maura with a babysitter when we go. After the telethon party we had our friends the Tittlers and the Longs over for dinner. I made feijoada (black beans with pork), a favorite dish from my childhood when I lived in Brazil. It was much appreciated by all the adults present and by Maura, who likes my cooking.

Now that Labor Day is over Maura is back in school. She started the fourth grade on Tuesday. Maura couldn’t wait to go back. She missed her friends from school. She hasn’t seen most of them since June. She’s also been a bit bored, especially since we came back from Indiana. We have lots of fun when we go off on adventures but we can’t have an adventure every day. Summer for Maura has been quite long enough.

It’s been long enough for me too. I’m probably even more ready for Maura to go back to school than she is to be going back. I always enjoy the time we spend together on outings and we find plenty to do together when we stay home but I find Maura distracting. When she is around it is difficult to concentrate and very hard to give my work the attention it needs. When Maura is in school I enjoy the hours of quiet and the freedom from interruption. While Maura is getting back to her books I will be getting back to work on mine.